I’ve made a release and here it is. It’s an album about anxiety and release. Thank you for being here.
here it comes
This is the first person experience of a tense body being overwhelmed by waves of heat, tightness and pain as the result of unpleasant emotional experience. Muscles are tense, movement rigid. Maybe you’re at work or school or in front of your partner and don’t want to let on that you’re going through this again, so your muscles are tight, your responses wooden. You just want it to go away but here it is and here you are, again. Shake it off. Shake it off.
This was created in Propellerhead Reason. I initially created a glitchy static sounding patch in Europa then resampled that into a Grain granular synth with a shimmer reverb and lots of Pulverizer for grit. There are 3 instances of this chain that take on different roles. The final rhythmic gate is a Synchronous effects processor that takes a sub-mix of all 3 undulating synth parts.
going through it
When it’s here, this is what it’s like to trod through it. It’s haunting, beautiful, head up, head down. Looking for bright spots and finding them, then finding darkness again. It’s taking steps through life with the tightness and presence of uncomfortable emotion and maladaptive coping mechanisms. You have so much you want to do and you do a lot of it, but damn, this presence, it permeates. Yet you still carry on and go through it.
This track was developed for a collaboration with some artist friends in St. Pete artists that resulted in a contemporary dance film series. This is a single track and effects chain. There is a sample of a chest being thumped that was sourced from rehearsal footage. This became the oscillator for a granular synth engine (Granulator II). This is one of the first pieces I’d created after transitioning to Ableton Live.
a subtle shift in perspective
Resistance to intrusive thought gives it strength. The Sisyphean task starts to change when you focus on positivity, on seeing what’s right, and though it’s a struggle at first, things chill the fuck out. There is release. This feels good.
Done in Reason – another single track piece using Grain; It’s my favorite synth in Reason. The piece track is a single note held down with a ton of modulation to carry the story.
This is what release feels like. This is glory and gratitude. This is holy light. Things are alright.
This piece was created in an hour, the fastest of any piece I’ve ever completed. It’s a single track in Ableton Live that features a single Wavetable instance with a ton of slowly evolving modulation of synth and effect parameters.